A portrait of happiness
by moonlightXmist
Summary: Since Bella, Jasper felt Edwards worry grow from anger to hate putting strain on them and the family. But when unoftunate circuimstances lead Jasper to keep a secret Bellla sees, and to his shock she protects him. Having lied toAlice how long can he cope?


**AN: This is my first ever twilight fic, so I apologise if I get facts and whatever wrong, feel free to point out my mistakes. Is Jasper blond? I can't remember. **

**Will hopefully be updating soon, and next chapter will be a bit quicker paced, but I hope you enjoy this one anyway.**

Chapter One: Feelings

"Jasper." Edward said quietly, so Bella couldn't hear. He was warning him. Jasper simply glared back at Edward, who was getting on his last nerve.

"Maybe we should stay." Esme looked from Edward to Jasper.

"No! Your going to go and your going to love it." Cried Alice, who scowled at both boys.

Bella glanced at the floor, even though she was accepted everyone, minus Rosalie, she still felt as though she were splitting them in half. They could never agree on anything. She caught the glare between Edward, who had one arm around her- half protecting her, and Jasper who was at the top of the stairs, not even being able to hug Esme and Carslile goodbye, because she was in between them.

She was, however surprised when Jasper returned her smile. She hadn't even realised at first, but she had been smiling shyly, apologetically, at him, and his genuine smile in return had made her feel better. Maybe they could be friends.

Then Jasper frowned again and he ran his finger though his hair, a habit when he was getting angry. He stood there, knowing exactly how Edward felt about him. The assumption that he wasn't able to resist Bella's scent, the assumption, conclusion that he wasn't strong enough. It wasn't like her smell was anything special, not to him anyway.

Jasper stood there, aware of the anger, and growing hatred from Edward. Edward needn't be so protective, he had only gone for Bella once, when her blood was exposed. So Edward could just chill.

He couldn't stand it anymore, pretending to be all happy families when it was clear Edward hated him, and even Carslile was worried about leaving them with Bella, them being specifically- only him.

So, he muttered goodbye and walked into his room, slamming the door behind him. he felt a shared sadness spread, great! Now, he felt guilty. He ran his hand through his hair again and paced for a while.

Jasper's 'gift' as Carslile put it, wasn't just that he could influence people's emotions, he could sense and feel, what they were feeling. Sometimes it was annoying, because if the emotion was so strong, it made him feel like that to. He couldn't always separate his own emotions from the ones he felt of other people. That's why he got so angry at Edward, because he could feel the anger Edward felt for him, and it was so strong it took over him.

It could be frustrating in other senses too. He could feel what people were feeling no problem, but he didn't always understand the cause behind it. If it was simple and directed at someone or something, then he could add 2 and 2 to make 4.

But when at the high school for example, he would feel a student or teacher being heart broken. And he wouldn't understand why, so it was harder for him to deal with. Being upset, moody, quiet and self-loathing all of the sudden was kind of hard to explain.

It was also why he didn't like being in a large crowd, so many emotions overwhelmed him. All at once crashing down, it gave him serious headaches. As in crazy you want to scream your guts out, hands ripping at hair, falling onto your knees, not being able to focus on anything but the pain headaches.

One thing he did like about his 'gift' or 'power' or whatever, was the fact that that Edward couldn't read his mind unless Jasper wanted to. When they had first arrived, he and Alice that was, Jasper had felt the confusion and untrustworthiness coming from Edward. So, he had opened his mind, just a little, so he didn't become suspicious or untrustworthy to Edward.

And he didn't know why, but he had kept the pretend up. But, he was glad he did. It was harder for him, the others had never lived a life where they were drinking as much human blood as they wanted. They hadn't known the temptation, the hardship to give it up, because they had never had it in the first place. It was harder, having it and giving it up, then having had nothing, or next to nothing, at all. And even that was more difficult than anything any human could compare; harder than giving up the most addictive drug. By far.

And the memories too, once you had given up. When actually doing it, it doesn't feel bad or wrong because its what you want so much, its what you should be doing. But after, the fact that you killed someone, the fact you have to suck a person's blood to survive, springs back and you remember things you didn't acknowledge at the time. The struggle, the fight they make, the giving up so many of them are driven to, realising how helpless you are.

Normally, vampires wouldn't worry themselves with such things, after all, it was only right, they were higher on the food chain, why shouldn't humans be food, just like how they slaughter animals to survive.

Jasper, however, could always feel it. He didn't know what was worse, feeling the death, the same as the person he was killing, or feeling their last glimpse of hope drift away, their dreams shattered, soul broken just before they died…

But, Jasper didn't want to seem weak, so he struggled with living as a 'vegetarian', more than any for the others. It made him separate from them.

A knock on the door bought him back out of his thoughts.

"Jazz?" Alice poked her head trough, and seeing Jasper calm and just in a bad mood rather than the angry, loner mood he sometimes got into, she came in.

"Hey." Jasper couldn't help but smile at Alice. Her tiny frame, pixie face and black hair that flicked out. She was just so… so Alice.

She ran into his arms and he stood there for a moment, breathing in her scent, loving every moment he got to spend with her.

"We're watching a movie. All of us." She added. Jasper nodded, even if it was reluctant. Ever since Bella had come into the their lives, he and \Edward hadn't gotten along.

It wasn't Bella's fault, he liked her, she was nice and smart, not like those normal stupid high school girls. But Edward had changed. Protective, angry at him, because he posed at the most threat to Bella. Because, as Edward has so politely said, he couldn't 'control' himself.

But it did make him wonder, had Edward always disliked Jasper, or was it only because of Bella's potential danger. The feeling was so strong and certain, Jasper often thought it was the former. It was not like they had ever been really, really close before.

However, seeing as it was Alice who had came and demanded he sit in the front room with them, he couldn't say no and followed her downstairs.

They walked into the living room to find everyone else already in there, watching the trailers to the dvd. Edward and Bella were sitting furthest away, a blanket wrapped around her on the sofa. On the sofa next to her Rosalie was lying down, again with a blanket. Emmet was just sprawled across the floor. Alice joined Emmet, taking a soft, plump cushion with her. Jasper smiled slightly before lifting Rosalie's legs up, but before she managed to protest, he sat down with her feet in his lap. He paated her gently and they smiled, understanding one another.

After the film had finished everyone was talking.

"But you can't not love it! It so romantic and sad and…"

"Girly and chicky and emotional and lets face it, the guys a bit of a pushover."

Edward laughed as Alice threw her cushion at Emmet, for calling Christian a push over. HE was just sensitive.

"Why does she have to die at the end?" Rosalie crossed her arms, did nobody ever get to have a happy ending?

"I think it adds more meaning to the time they had together. Every secret meeting suddenly becomes more memorable, more significant in his life." Bella spoke quietly.

Emmet then said something else, and Rosalie and Jasper looked down, unable to meet one another's gaze without giggling.

Edward, being able to read Rosalie's thoughts immediately grew defensive.

"Cut it out."

Jasper felt the anger directed at him. Christ, what was Edward's problem? He had to get out of there. Still maintaining the happy appearance, so Edward would not know that Jasper knew he hated him, he looked for a way out.

"Rosy posy come talk with me." Jasper grinned as he ran out of the room, knowing Rosalie would follow him, mostly likely with her heel in hand ready to throw at his head.

* * *

"So, whats up?" Rosalie found Jasper laying on her silk red sheets of her huge bed.

Jasper gave one of those famous male grunts that didn't reveal anything.

"Do not do that to me. And don't you dare 'dunno' at me either. Tell me whats wrong."

She lay next to Jasper, their legs hanging off the edge.

"Just… just seems like Edward doesn't like me much these days."

"Oh come on. We were laughing at his dearly beloved human girlfriend. And, its Edward, Mr Serious. Relax."

"Do you really think I'd hurt Bella?"

"Not in a million years." He loved Rosalie for that, there was no hesitation. Even Alice hesitated when it came to that question.

"How can you be sure?" He asked, as they both stared at the ceiling. Rosalie glanced at him before gazing back at her ceiling. What was with him? It was normally Edward who was all sorrowful and serious and angst and sensitive.

"Because you couldn't do that. To this family. Especially Alice. She loves Bella. Your not capable of hurting Alice like that." Jasper smiled, Rosalie had known what he wanted to hear, but she actually believed it to.

It was nice for one person in the family not to perceive him as a monster.

They talked about less important things. Jasper loved his talks with Rosalie, they could talk about nothing for ages, and yet it meant so much to him, just to be able to talk with her.

They weren't considered twins for nothing. They really were like twins, if they had a problem, or needed to be with someone but on their own as well, they would always rely on the other one. And they would always be there for one another.

He loved Alice with all his heart, but he couldn't tell her everything. Because he didn't want to hurt her, for her to know the monster he really was, for her to know how hard he struggled, to be stuck between him and Edward, who she loved with every inch of her being. HE couldn't do that to her, any of it.

Rosalie he could, and she would understand. And comfort him. Not by trying to make him feel better, or telling him he wasn't when he knew he was, the proof was all over his body. But by hitting him with reality.

He loved his family and his new life, but sometimes, he couldn't help but feel like it was a show, a pretend. Happy families were good and all, but was that reality for him? He didn't think so, not when his entire life had been war and battle and fighting. Manipulating, trying to gain advantage. That was all he'd ever known before the whole Cullen family painting.

And there was this feeling inside of him, like fate or destiny or karma or whatever, but what ever it was, it was going to take his family away from him. He could feel it.

Like a calm before the storm. The storm was there, brewing and in the distance. Not ready to hit with full force, waiting. But he knew one thing about it, the storm was definitely coming.

**AN: I hoped you liked it. Not a lot going on in the storyline there, but a good insight ( I Hope!) into Jasper's mind. Next chapter plot will move forward, promise!**

**Reviews are always welcome, even the nasty ones.**


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